I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
sex in a hospital.. check
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
