Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
