I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
