Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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