dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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