he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
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I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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