I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
