My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?