He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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