Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.

(1-518): View more from New York

True? Did she teach you things?

(518): View more from New York

She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.

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(518): True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night. (1-518): True? Did she teach you things? (518): She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am. http://tfl.nu/r18t

Replies (13) Good night (2869) Bad night (754)
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(903): View more from Texas

....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."

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(903): ....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot." http://tfl.nu/zqj2

Replies (31) Good night (646) Bad night (4431)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...

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(630): I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends. (1-630): if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs... http://tfl.nu/id4n

Replies (51) Good night (10791) Bad night (1673)
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(702): View more from Nevada

the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.

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(702): the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral. http://tfl.nu/20j6

Replies (7) Good night (792) Bad night (6624)
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(317): View more from Indiana

After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.

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(317): After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now. http://tfl.nu/z4u1

Replies (38) Good night (991) Bad night (8924)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college

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(778): I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college http://tfl.nu/2nnj

Replies (13) Good night (4599) Bad night (1678)
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(518): View more from New York

I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.

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(518): I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being. http://tfl.nu/lv2s

Replies (13) Good night (8234) Bad night (1329)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.

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(423): I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/w5jl

Replies (5) Good night (4241) Bad night (1418)
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(281): View more from Texas

Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday

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(281): Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday http://tfl.nu/9ias

Replies (14) Good night (1519) Bad night (2912)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.

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(843): I like to think of it as a lesbian feast. http://tfl.nu/2rcn

Replies (10) Good night (1606) Bad night (783)
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(813): View more from Florida

she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.

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(813): she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by. http://tfl.nu/df84

Replies (5) Good night (1408) Bad night (1116)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?

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(217): Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up? http://tfl.nu/08g9

Replies (7) Good night (4543) Bad night (836)
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(334): View more from Alabama

Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.

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(334): Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots. http://tfl.nu/hhuz

Replies (5) Good night (827) Bad night (357)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

I want to go out and have good clean fun.

(931): View more from Tennessee

Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.

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(931): I want to go out and have good clean fun. (931): Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina. http://tfl.nu/qwbd

Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (457)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird

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(778): And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird http://tfl.nu/xqlb

Replies (2) Good night (343) Bad night (529)

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