So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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