Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.

Fav 40 9322 1134
share tweet
(415): View more from California

No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."

Fav 91 4866 1607
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

he thought i was a dude.

Fav 28 974 7316
share tweet
(713): View more from Texas

He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.

Fav 23 7578 1331
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(315): View more from New York

You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.

Fav 24 2152 8451
share tweet
(315): View more from New York

I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.

Fav 15 6897 1506
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(414): View more from Wisconsin

Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.

Fav 5 4972 1014
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?

Fav 7 835 561
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.

Fav 2 190 401
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT