I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
