just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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