Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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