My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
