No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
