best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
