we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
