she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize