She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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