He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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