i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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