Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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