If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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