you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
