I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
