The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
