Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize