I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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