EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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