Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
