so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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