She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
