i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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