Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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