i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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