Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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