Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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