Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
