Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
