If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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