Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
