I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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