Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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