Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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