The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
pop tarts are not kleenex
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she told me i tasted like america
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize