Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
