So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
