I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize