She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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