WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
