I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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