I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
