just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I am naked and annoyed.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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