I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
