I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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