I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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