i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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