the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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