If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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