i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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