the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i dont even know how to be here
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
