Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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