i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
