I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize