the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
