oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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