Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize