Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
