Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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