I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I am mentally ready for anal.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
