whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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