I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
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We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
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Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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