worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
