Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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