There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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